corporate muffin

Validate the customers muffin choice...? I... if I ever... who the in hell...? I just...I.

fuck, my life...

tuesday the 29th

I guess

the biggest difference between me in 1990 and 2008 is NOT that I no longer watch TailSpin...
It's that when I DO watch TailSpin,
I'm not saying "Baloo can fly out of there! He's the best the pilot ever!"
I say "Why are everyone's arms down? Their sleeves are gonna get all wet."















______________________________

P. (frickin) S.
Did you know that Beauty & the Beast is available on DVD?
How super is that news!? hellz yeah! Ron Pearlman 4-EVA!

jesus, joseph and mary...

I don't know what I am doing or supposed to be doing. I look through photos and 9 out of 10 are kind of bitchy.

I want to move to China or Ecuador. If I lived in Ecuador I would want a pet parrot. Although I am not terribly fond of birds and they do tend to live for a long time. I think that in either of those countries things would be too small. I don't think I'd be comfortable ducking all the time. I just want to be a rich recluse in some weird ass house in the woods that will be a museum one day. I'm too prissy to be a hermit. Also it must be by a stream so that I can build a dam and name it Bree's Dam, and the road to my house will be Bree's Dam Road. I am a simple girl, I want simple things. I just want to go Antarctica and have a pet tiger. I don't think that's asking for a lot.

burn after reading

I am pretty jazzed up about this film.

mamma mia!

oh my gosh, what a treat of a movie! the most amazingly-stupidly-fantastic-hilariously-absurd thing.
loved it!



kittie was laughing so hard that she announced to the theater that she was going to pee her pants.
good times.
my only wish is that someone would have been there that would have understood why i was singing "in the yearrr twooo thousannndddd"
perfectly good joke gone to waste. le sigh....

is being an intern supposed to be this fun?

Today maybe my boss bought us Frosties from Wendy's before she came into work. And maybe I clapped my hands and yelled "YAH! FROSTIES!!" as she handed them to us.


Being an intern is fun! I thought it was going to be bitch work.
I don't think that I could have found a better fit. I mean free Frosties for lunch? AWESOME!

x-files... but not the show, that was scarwwey!

Well I was going through my old medical files... as people tend to do at midnight in the middle of a 70 hour work week... Anyhow, I came across some paperwork from one of my crowning achievements.

Background: Personally I feel that school is good for some kids. While it makes other kids want to die. School for some, other learning programs for rest.

Knowing that the school environment wasn't the best place for a person such as myself, I often feigned illness. Alas after too many missed days the excuses start to repeat. That's when I thought to myself, "self, we need something that will last for a bit".

One Sunday night, during TV-family-bonding-time I started to crawl from my spot on the floor back to where my mother was on the sofa. "Oh!! OUCH! I HURT MY KNEE!"

Anyways after that was some x-rays & a knee brace & crutches & missing school & getting waited on by my mommy... it was at this time I decided that I was a terribly gifted actress, or a terrible human being, either way I wasn't at school , so who the hell cares which ones which?

Estelle Getty

1923–2008

Truly great comediennes are few and far between.

If You Lived Here, You’d Be Home By Now: And Other Stories of Misfortune

Part II of the 8th Chapter

Two hours after Mr. Annew had woken up badly sun burned in the garden and decided to retreat to his room for the remainer of the day; there was a loud bang and slight whimper from the Southeast corner of the house. He paused from reading and sat up in his chair for a brief moment to listen for any sounds that would immediately follow. There were none and he resumed reading as quickly as he had stopped.
Kip slouched down with her back against the door. Pressing her hand over her forehead as blood began to saturate her hair. She squeezed her eyes shut as her head spun and ears throbbed.
“Do you need help?” called Perwyn from down the hall.
“No.” Kip replied as loudly as possible, trying not to jolt her head.

Creaking on the staircase gave away to the under the breath mumbling of Mrs. Annew, concerned about how the racket upstairs would affect her day.
“Kippie!?” her voice echoed through the house, “What did you do? Is something broken?”
“Only my head, Mother.” she answered as her hand slipped up to the lock on the door handle.
“How could you have managed that? You know I was in the middle of cooking?”
“It was an accident, I was reaching for something. I just need a quiet moment, please?”
The handle jingled and the door started shaking, as Mrs. Annew was eager to inspect the scene and give her opinion. Kip slid down onto the floor, away from the trembling against her back, keeping as still as possible with her left hand against her head.
“You should get her some ice Mother.” Perwyn suggested from her doorway.
“Well, if she needed it she could have told me, before I came all the way from the kitchen. Or would that be asking too much?” Mrs. Annew glared at her, as her hand was still clutching the brass handle.
She turned herself from Perwyn back to the locked door,“Is Martin in there with you? He is probably hungry, I want to feed him.” her voice boomed through the door, as she knocked with two knuckles.
Kip slowly allowed her right eye to open a tiny slit and her gaze floated up to the cat’s tail peeking off the edge of the bed.
“No he isn’t. He’s probably with Father.” she replied.
The tapping of Mrs. Annew’s footsteps slowly faded down the hall.

honestly, what the hell?

Three nights ago part of my dream consisted of fighting over a vintage Goonies t-shirt that said "HEY MIKEY!" (which I have researched and doesn't exist) with a small child named Dakota Fanning. I totally won.









Two nights ago I was a personal assistant to the late croc hunters wife Terri Irwin. Who (in dreamland) cusses and is kinda of a bitch. She hid in her room a lot because the IRA was looking for proof of tax fraud. Also she wore this ratty old pink robe around the house, which was gross.








Last night I was gardening with Alan Rickman. Or he was yelling at me when I was gardening. Also it was at night, which was strange. But we ended up being friends. It's still not clear though, whether I was his gardener or not. If I was, I was doing a terrible job and deserved to be yelled at, if not, he should've minded his own fuckin business.

The best thing is that I haven't watched anything with these people, I haven't thought about them in passing, nothing, just totally random. Although I have to admit that I wasn't hating the Alan Rickman dream. I mean for 62 that dudes still pretty good looking.


(actually thinking about it now I am pretty sure that the croc hunter dream had something to do with the movie "Muriel's Wedding")

congratulations are in order... again.

Amy B. & Adam B. tied the ole knot today.
It was probably the best styled wedding I've ever seen.
All white with splashes of color and a ceremony that was about 1 minute and 45 seconds long. Good times.
















Also:
Chris & Mariah were pretty adorable.















I think that I actually might be pretty okay at portraits.
I am thinking about pursuing them more.

wondering about all the pointless posts?

I overslept by three hours. oops.
I think it's called exhaustion.
So I am really using this extra time wisely.
This is my friend Christine.
I haven't seen her since January.
So I made a fake adventure.
Maybe one day if you're one of my best friends,
I'll do the same for you.

for serious?

Amazon.com sure does send some crazy recommendations... Does anyone else have this problem? Please say yes.
--------------------------------
Biomechanical Modelling of the Human Eye (Paperback)

by Michael Buchberger (Author)

No customer reviews yet. Be the first.

Price: $111.00
_____________________

Photography.Book.Now

Okay, I have gone through a decent chunk of the books and I have chosen the book that I feel is better than mine and should be the winner. And it is.


Lab Work
DOGS DOING THINGS! I LOVE IT!
[Look at that dog, he's a Doctor. That's Dr. Dog to you~]










Runners up :

Eye Contact
[please notice the direction of the eyes on the cover. lack of contact? meaningful? I think so.]









For the Love of Bluebirds

[there's a picture of a bluebird flying INTO a birdhouse. Amazo! People never see things like that.]









Blake & Lindsay get engaged

[OMG you guys look like Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie!!]

DON'T LET THE MUSIC DIE IN YOU

[dead things inside you isn't good... but chances are that the dead things in you now, you'll poop out later.]







Through a Lens with Love

[In all honesty I am going to buy a copy of this.]

studio sally!!

Life is significantly better than it was 13 days ago.

stop messing around and get down to business... (not how you probably think though)

So today while I was driving to the studio and my hair was blowing around in the wind I started to think about how different my life would be if I would have been raised by parents with curly hair. Of course they would have been my childhood dream parents Gilda Radner and Gene Wilder. And I am sure that I would be a good 6-7% more awesome than I already am.

Then I was looking at some pictures of my dream mom and dad, and I thought "dad looks pretty old", then I realized that he is 75! Holy shit! All my heroes are going to be dead soon. So I really need to buckle down and start getting these autograph requests out.
Sure hooray for having Chevy Chase... but I mean really... I have bigger fish to fry.

Oh you'll see. YOU'LL ALL SEE! i love celebrities.

Maybe I could ask them to autograph some artwork?
Look out Steve Martin. This bad boy is coming your way.

I know what you're thinking...

how do I find all this awesome stuff? It's a gift... what else can I say?


While paging through a friend's copy of The Pop-up Book of Sex I saw a cowgirl that reminded me of Melissa Joan Hart.
And I mean that in the best way possible.















Also I found this picture of Richard Nixon signing autographs for kids with some intense hair feathering in the 80's.
Those teddy bears on the sweater are wearing leg warmers!
BITCHIN!!

Have you ever been standing, staring at a taxidermy polar bear... and you just look at him and say "Bertram, I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to be doing with my life...?"

No? Yeah, nah nah, me either... it was just like hypothetical or whatever, never mind.

Supercar’s “Wonder Word”

I'm not sure if I like this or I hate it. Maybe I shouldn't use the word hate because the other choice isn't love... No, no I'll keep hate. I'm pretty sure I hate this. But it's worth watching once.

things i do/did/enjoy doing

#1 making lists. they are very official.















#2 sitting in a cubicle for the first time I spun myself around in my chair and thought "What the fuck? I'm sitting in a cubicle?"

#3 filing child abuse forms for the Philly Zoo to prove i do not abuse children... not that that was in question... everyone has to do it. wait, where are you going? i thought we were going to the movies!

#4 taking pictures of random shit.















#5 getting repeat calls from an 800 number for the last week. upon calling them back to tell them to piss off THEY HUNG UP ON ME! effers.

#6 finding a three foot long snake skin shedding (assuming it was a black snake) completely intact, very rare!
BEHOLD!




















#7 watching "A Fish Called Wanda" twice with my dad in one sitting.

#8 building a collection of pictures of cats with attitude problems.

I think my feelings would be best expressed by a monologue from

Saturday Night Live circa 1991 as written and performed by my personal hero, Steve Martin.

"If I had one wish that I could wish this holiday season, it would be that all the children to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace. If I had two wishes I could make this holiday season, the first would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace. And the second would be for 30 million dollars a month to be given to me, tax-free in a Swiss bank account. You know, if I had three wishes I could make this holiday season, the first, of course, would be for all the children of the world to get together and sing, the second would be for the 30 million dollars every month to me, and the third would be for encompassing power over every living being in the entire universe. And if I had four wishes that I could make this holiday season, the first would be the crap about the kids definitely, the second would be for the 30 million, the third would be for all the power, and the fourth would be to set aside one month each year to have an extended 31-day orgasm, to be brought out slowly by Rosanna Arquette and that model Paulina-somebody, I can't think of her name. Of course my lovely wife can come too and she's behind me one hundred percent here, I guarantee it. Wait a minute, maybe the sex thing should be the first wish, so if I made that the first wish, because it could all go boom tomorrow, then what do you got, y'know? No, no, the kids, the kids singing would be great, that would be nice. But wait a minute, who am I kidding? They're not going to be able to get all those kids together. I mean, the logistics of the thing is impossible, more trouble than it's worth! So -- we reorganize! Here we go. First, the sex thing. We go with that. Second, the money. No, we got with the power second, then the money. And then the kids. Oh wait, oh jeez, I forgot about revenge against my enemies! Okay, I need revenge against all my enemies, they should die like pigs in hell! That would be my fourth wish. And, of course, my fifth wish would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace. Thank you everybody and Merry Christmas."

paahaahahahahaaahhaha!!

ah, oh man... haha.
oh man, that's good.
just wanted to make sure you got to see this.
have a magical day.

all fired up

The great Pat Bentar once sang "Now I believe there comes a time, when everything just falls in line."

Well, alls I know is that it effing better. This place makes my ass twitch.

Anyhow.

I love Pacifico Silano and I was very happy to have him visit. And just for the record I never have nightmares but I had three in one night because he's too classy to sleep on the sofa. It was either his crazy energy or all the food we ate at Katie's reception. Either way I had nightmares about werewolves and that's not cool. On the other hand it was two very badly needed days of fun and insanely crazy laughter. And for that I guess I can share a side of the king for one night.

All Fired Up by Pat Bentar on the Youtube.

everybody loves a party!

Spider's web.


















My friends are special!


























Pacifico and the Kirkhams cut a rug.
















If you invite Pacifico and me to your wedding you will get a really useful gift!

ju-lie

crying in public

a new series of self portraits

umm...

I was looking at some websites about becoming a buddhist nun. They seem okay, at the very least they have nice websites.


Does this sound good to you or does it seem a little dodgy? I don't want to end up being one of those weirdos at the airport...

"Becoming a Buddhist monk or nun is truly a meaningful and worthwhile way to spend your life, and to be of benefit to others...The vows of a Buddhist monk or nun are taken for life, therefore it is important to spend time and take great care in reflecting on the various advantages and disadvantages before making a decision. Some monasteries in Asia (e.g. in Thailand) offer part-time ordination programs, usually for men, which allow one the possibility to live as a monastic for a few days, weeks, months, or years. However, in the Tibetan tradition, one makes a commitment for life. And although there are cases of people who take vows and later give them back and return to lay life, this is not recommended. The vows are taken with the determination to keep them for the rest of one's life."

I mean this wouldn't be like adopting a cat, getting bored with him and giving him to my parents. Apparently, it's kind of a big deal. It might even be one of those things that you should "sleep on".... Yeah what I would have to sleep on...? Like do they sleep on mats or something...? Ugh, that doesn't sound very comfortable at all.

a photographer

Last night at a very late dinner I told Cassie that when I was little I wanted to either be a Buddhist Monk or a Truck Driver. Then sometime during my visit to dreamland I came to the conclusion that a Photographer is what you get when you combine those two things.

More to come on this thought later.























yes i am playing volleyball...