2008 "Year of the Panic Attack"

January 1st 2008 12:48 am :
I was on my bed surrounded by my 5 best friends (at the time) clawing at my throat, gasping for air, shaking, thinking that someone slipped LSD into my drink and I was having a "bad trip".

Turns out it was just my first ever panic attack.

(29) panic attacks - the last one was on thanksgiving
(1) times graduating from clown college
(4) photo shows for the resume
(0) times I was hopelessly lost
(4) trips to the hospital (personal)
(10) trips to the hospital (visiting)
(3) boys I stalked to the point that I was embarrassed for myself
(2) embarrassing moments caused by vomiting in public/ on the public
(3) involvements with the police
(2) cameras broken
(5) times I looked for acting jobs in Variety
(150) phone conversations with my nemesis
(3) important interviews
(7) dress up occasions including weddings
(7) jobs (part-time/full time)
(1) internships
(1) amazing jobs that I honestly can't believe I have
(5) times I pretended to be hard of hearing so my coworkers would stop talking to me
(32) dead animals photographed
(2) bad hair cuts
(2) bad hair cuts I inflicted on myself due to boredom
(14) incoming text messages locked on my phone
(18,000+) text messages sent
(4) instances of benefitting from smoozing with strangers
(1) times on a plane
(0) times on a bus
(22) times on a train
(14) times in a taxi
(2) awkward situations when I had to wake up strangers on the train
(8) people I promised I would come visit as soon as I had time
(80) dollars that I spent on gas in a week throughout the summer
(2) instances that I ate a pastrami on rye while staring at ground zero during lunch
(8) times I met/saw a celebrity
(1) times I disguised myself as something I wasn't to meet a celebrity
(2) democratic candidates that I briefly volunteered for
(1) Liza Minnelli concerts I openly sobbed during
(4) pen pals that I want to write to but can't track down
(1000) times I have uttered the word Afghanistan in the last 6 months
(3) buildings that I hit with my car
(1) cats that I killed with my car
(60,000+) miles driven

M79 by Vampire Weekend - the new song

Mamma Mia - the new movie

"My childhood was just like The Shawshank Redemption, except I didn't have some soft-spoken gentle black man to share my troubles with." - the new movie quote

Pacifico, Cassie, Emily - the people 2008 would have been really shit-tastic without.




so long you piece of garbage year.

Scott Ener Grover

aka the love of my life, has built himself nest on the interweb.

check it out here

you let me be myself

I should just give it up and become a model.




images by jona (pious) lee care

love at first sight

nutters

This is Nutters. 

He a squirrel that lives in the ivy beside the office window at my house.

I feed Nutters almonds and twizzlers. 

He likes them. 

I am building Nutters a house for the winter. 

(by building I mean I am taking a birdhouse I made for my mother in wood-shop out of the basement at my parents home and cutting a slightly bigger hole into the front) 

I am really excited to give him his new house on Christmas morning. 

Nutters is my best friend. 

He is the reason that I look forward to going home at night. 

I hope Nutters never leaves me.

ahhhh yeeaaahhhh.....

oh my god with the photographs...

Nearly every time I look at work I get depressed. 

Not because I am jealous or overly emotional.
It's all just such a bunch of fucking downers.

Yeah sometimes people sit in rooms alone looking out of windows, nature is uprooted and mangled, or some drunk woman flashes her tits... but sometimes someone gets attacked in a drug store by a white tiger...

The photo world needs to lighten the fuck up!! 

Seriously, it's more annoying then daytime TV.

i have some lady sized 10 where that came from too.

http://gawker.com/5110129/what-will-become-of-the-baghdad-shoe-thrower

a vain attempt to keep this blog from going too far south

I re-re-found the flickr account that I had intially re-found a few months ago.

I added some stuff to it.

If you look here often though it's no big deal.

I am just struggling to keep photo on my mind.

Elbows.Decidedly.Akimbo on Flickr

Saturday December 6th.

The single best day of 2008. 

shifting

I am quickly becoming less and less interested in taking photos... as in I am taking none.

On the plus side I am becoming more and more interested in this...

TWILIGHT IS FREAKING AWESOME!!

**The owner of this blog is on a mental vacation... check back in 2009**

"Ode to my Frumpy Friend"

My frumpy friend Emily.

Baby doll heads on a necklace,
wrinkled, wrinkled pants,
bunched up sleeves.

Like an art kid,
wearing her favorite clothes,
all at the same time.

Don't let it fool you-

She is cool.

somebody had a case of the mondays!

I had the worst Monday. It was really just plain effed up. I think that I endured the worst 2 hours and 16 minutes of my life...
well maybe in the top 5 worst times...
top 10 at least.

It wasn't as bad as Thanksgiving though... don't even get me started on that.

Anyhow, I am trying to figure out how to make it into a short story. The tag line right now is as follows:

It's a magical tale of a girl in New York City... with subway rides, police officers, emergency cell phone usages, begging ticket clerks for help, yelling "what the hells your problem?" at tourists, finding refuge in a handicapped stall in Penn Station, a trip to the emergency room and most importantly vomit... lots and lots of vomit.

It feels like a Christmas story...

Should I write it? Maybe I should just leave it at that...